Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
