I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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