i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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