I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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