Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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