What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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