He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
