Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
