Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
