We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
