her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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