I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
