I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
