I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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