all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
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