just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
