I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
