Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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