i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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