Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
