69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
