The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
