We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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