I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
one two three fourrrrnication!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
