Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
