so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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