mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
