How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
babies were throwing up all over the place
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
