I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize