i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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