when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
BRING THE BAGELS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize