In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
