One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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