3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
