Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
