sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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