my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
