I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
