check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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