I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
