he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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