I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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