whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
