called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
