i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
