still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We talked him into tasing himself.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
