You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How drunk are you?
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