My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
