roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
