The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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