White coat. Heels.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
