i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
