There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize