it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
