I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
