Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
