There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
