Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
